he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
