Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
