Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
