Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
