if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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