maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize