I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize