After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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