Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
