I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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