You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
