what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
