Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
