When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
