Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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