so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
