return my video game
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
