So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
