i just google imaged poop.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
