But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
