My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
