I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
