...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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