I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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