dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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