would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
