I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
