glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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