i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
