So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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