I'm drive I can fine osifer
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
