you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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