Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
