just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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