it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There's even glitter on my cock...
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