i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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