I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
