just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
