Whats the glycemic index on semen?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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