i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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