but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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