She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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