Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
