are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
