I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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