Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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