youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
