What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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