This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
