Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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