If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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