im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
