I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
