I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize