Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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