They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
