I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
