dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize