man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
