just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
