so that wasnt chicken after all
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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