I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
